Noel insists on leading a normal life and going to the shops near his home in West London because if not "you end up like Elton John, or fucking George Michael."
The sight of the Rolling Stones, still touring well into their 60s, is "fucking sad," he said.
Not to be neglected in Noel's litany of abuse was Oasis nemesis and British pop rival Robbie Williams.
"I wouldn't walk a mile in his shoes because he seems to be a very lonely, unhappy, very confused young man," he says.
More surprising is Noel's readiness to loosen his grip on the direction of the band, something over which he has always maintained absolute control.
Noel wrote only half the new album. Band members Andy Bell and Gem Archer wrote one song each, and Liam did three.
"Liam's only just started to write songs. He's like a fucking mad man," he says. "He's writing 10 songs a day. I was like that 20 years ago."
Noel on being a parent? "A fucking big responsibility," "one of life's greatest things," "a fucking pain in the arse."
"If I had any advice, between the ages of 15 and 30 just absolutely go for it like every day was your last. As soon as you hit 30, take your foot off the gas a bit," he says.
Oasis are on tour until next March and will visit Japan and Australia in November.
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