New technology and recent economic realities translate into novel etiquette challenges on plane flights nowadays.
Like trying to avoid the pornographic film playing on the DVD of the passenger next to you. Or trying to breathe through your mouth for six hours because your seatmate decided that the perfect in-flight lunch was a tuna fish sandwich -- a smell that doesn't mix so well with the Big Mac being consumed by the guy in front of you.
These are some of the problems passengers a few years ago never had to face, before DVD's were prevalent and before most airlines stopped serving meals.
"You wouldn't believe what people watch," said Mimi Rodriguez, a flight attendant with America West. She says it is not uncommon for people to watch pornography on board; if a passenger complains, she asks the offending party to step into the galley and tells him that his film choice is making some fellow travelers uncomfortable.
"But it's not a violation of regulations," she says. "We usually ask them to turn it off or turn the screen so it can't be seen." Most comply, she adds.
If assaults on fliers' eyes and ears are increasing, so are attacks on their noses. Strongly aromatic foods like the Korean dish kimchi can really stink up a cabin, she says. So can less exotic fare, like hard-boiled eggs.
Some etiquette problems are virtually as old as flying, but people have come up with new methods to deal with them. Consider the reclining seat. Every frequent flier has a story about an insensitive slob who shoved his seat back, causing a computer to fly off the tray table. Or alternatively, the idiot sitting behind who kept jamming her knees into the seat in front.
Ira Goldman, president of Right Brain Ltd, took matters into his own hands in 2003 and invented the Knee Defender (www.kneedefender.com). These are small pieces of plastic that slip onto the legs of the tray table to prevent it from closing, and therefore, stop the seat in front from reclining.
"Computer users put it on as a safety catch," Goldman said. His product, which he says he has sold by the thousands online, comes with a courtesy card that you can give the passenger in front to let him know you are using the Knee Defender.
Bill Taylor, a media consultant who flies almost every week, bought the Knee Defender as soon as he heard about it. "I'm a six-foot-five (1.9m) traveler, and I've said the airlines should let me check my knees," Taylor says. "Before the Knee Defender, the only option I had was to jam my knees into the seat in front. Now I've had people next to me ask where they can buy them."
The Federal Aviation Administration says it has made no ruling about the use of the product; such decisions are up to the individual airlines, a spokeswoman said.
What tends to top the poor etiquette list, however, is something everyone who has ever flown has probably experienced: the person behind you stands up and grabs the back of your seat to balance. There goes the hot coffee. Or the pleasant nap. "They do that and it shot-puts you into the next seat," Taylor says. "I use my own armrest to get myself up."
Rodriguez adds another warning: "And when waiting for the lavatory, don't hang on to people's seats."
Being aware of space in general is a big issue. "A good thing is to do unto others as you would want them to do unto you," Rodriguez says. "If you don't apply it anywhere else in your life, do it on a plane."
Most people would agree that some things are no-no's on airplanes, but they still happen. Among them:
* Applying nail polish.
* Shoving a dirty diaper into the seat pocket -- or handing it to the flight attendant.
* Reading over a seatmate's shoulder, whether it be a magazine or a laptop.
* Hogging the bathroom.
* Repeatedly pressing on the bathroom door even though it says "occupied."
Other matters fall in the gray area. Closing the window shade during the movie? You don't have to, but it's a nice gesture to your fellow travelers who want to see the screen. The armrests? "It's an unwritten rule that the middle passenger should get two armrests," Rodriguez says.
Taking off shoes to get more comfortable? That's OK, as long as they don't reek.
Climbing over a passenger in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom? Well, you have to do it, but do you politely wake her up, or just maneuver your way past her, hoping for the best? That seems to be up for debate.
Fortunately, many of these problems arise infrequently.
"I actually think people are fairly well behaved," says Taylor, who calculates that he's flown 6 million miles in the last 30 years. "And when things get ugly, I go into my own mental zone."
Once in a while, however, someone is so annoying that he can't resist stepping in.
"Once I was on a flight from New York to Dallas right before Christmas and there was an ice storm, so we put down in Shreveport," he said. " I was in first class, and this little fellow goes up to the galley where the pilots are having coffee while we're waiting and says, `I've got to get to Dallas. We've got to go.'"
Taylor said the man sat down, then later jumped up and started harassing the pilots again.
"I closed my computer and tapped him on the shoulder until he turned around," he said. "I said, `Sport, we're all damned important here in first class, but we all want to live. Why don't you just sit down?' The fellow looked embarrassed. And the captain said to me, `Thank you, you just said what we all wanted to say.'"
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