Muo is still intent on procuring a virgin for Judge Di when a woman who works as an embalmer in the morgue phones him with the news that the judge has died. He was playing a mahjong marathon lasting three days and was starting on a fourth when he was struck down. Accepting the embalmer's invitation to come and see the evidence for himself, Muo finds himself in a situation found in many comic stories worldwide when the judge turns out to be alive and well, and delivers him a devastating punch in the face.
In panic, Muo buys a ticket for a train that will ultimately take him back to Europe. Once aboard, to his fugitive embarrassment, he is accosted by a young girl he vaguely remembers. She is "the film dreamer" and someone whose only wish is to be taken to France. Once Muo has told her the reasons for his flight, and having established that she's a virgin, the two strike a pact and, in order to execute their plan, decide to buy a coach ticket rather than wait for the next train.
The journey proves tortuous -- wild beasts and an attack by bandits known as the Lolo, make for an eventful ride. In the tussle with the Lolo, the film-dreamer's leg is badly broken, while Muo receives another beating, all to the surreal accompaniment of Ravel's Bolero on the coach radio. Muo is alarmed to discover how serious the girl's fracture is and, anxious about the success of his scheme with Judge Di, seeks out the only person who can mend the fracture. He's someone known as the Old Observer of Panda Droppings who's skilled in repairing broken bones with the use of traditional herbal medicine.
The Old Observer extracts an agreement out of Muo that if he heals the girl's broken leg within 10 days Muo will marry his daughter. Judge Di, meanwhile, having pursued a rigorous diet of sea-cucumber after his near-death experience, is starting to feel a resurgence of sexual energy. Their meeting, however, doesn't go according to plan, and he castigates "that bastard psychoanalist" for setting him up with a cripple."Judge Di never sleeps with cripples!" he fulminates before storming off in disgust.
The final thunderbolt arrives in the form of a country girl knocking at his door. It turns out she's the Old Observer's daughter. Embarrassed, Muo wants to ask her to come in and take tea with him, but his tongue betrays his indomitable nature. Taking her by the hand with avuncular interest, he hears himself ask: "Tell, me, my dear, are you a virgin?"
In this picaresque narrative that fuses European ideas and Chinese traditions, Dai Sijie's descriptive powers are impressive, as are his spun-out fantasies and playful wit. But it's Mr Muo who carries the story through. He's a major comic creation, and it's his combination of naive optimism and delight in the new, together with the story's promise of a happy outcome, that makes this a delightful, if bizarre, novel, and a must for all oddballs, literary enthusiasts and lovers of ancient comic traditions re-made to suit modern conditions.
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