Even when parents give them explicit permission to vent about an autistic sibling, many children choose silence, one of many ways they may try to protect their overburdened parents. An example is Amy Chiappiniello, 14, who has a 13-year-old brother, David, with severe autism. Amy's mother, Lori Chiappiniello, talks freely of the chaotic years when David destroyed furniture, left teeth marks on the mantel and broke windows. She encourages Amy to discuss that terrible time, but the girl says she does not remember.
Later, in an e-mail message, Amy was freer with her feelings. Therapy was a waste, she wrote, "because I realized they couldn't do anything so I just shut down."
"I keep it all to myself," Amy added. "But when I can't keep it in any more, I just sit in my room and cry for hours. If my parents catch me crying, I just say hormones kicked in and sometimes that's true."
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