Soeder says that in his therapy concept he tries to find out how the needs of both partners have developed and how these can best be fulfilled.
Soeder finds that especially young couples speak of "too much proximity" once the sexual passion is over. But the quality of a relationship cannot be measured by this one aspect.
Three factors contribute to a long-term relationship, he says. Firstly passion, including sexual desire and the overcoming of a common crisis; secondly, common obligations such as responsibility for a house or apartment; thirdly, intimacy and trust.
"One way of stimulating desire is to talk over fantasies," says Soeder, "but in love it is virtually impossible to have
everything at the same time."
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