What stinks about watching second-rate, amateur skateboarders isn't just the butt crack that gets exposed from their absurdly baggy pants, but the fact that they never seem to land any tricks. Or if they can pull off a trick, they'll ride in circles doing that one trick over and over and over.
Of course, skateboarding is a really hard sport. It requires, like, loads of balance and, like, coordination and stuff. From painful adolescent experience I can testify that to make the board do a full flip on its horizontal axis and then land on it again and keep rolling is like, really tough. This trick, that skaters call the kickflip, has cut short countless teenagers' aspirations for skating greatness, because the board either constantly goes sailing in some unforeseen direction or ends up wedged between the concrete and the skater's crotch.
Or, consider this one demoralizingly difficult trick called the "ollie impossible." The skater starts out rolling, does what is called an ollie, which takes the board and skater airborne (preferably together) by using only raw power and deft footwork. Once airborne, the skater kicks and spins the board with both feet so that the board spins on its horizontal axis while doing a 360-degree rotation under the skater. Finally the skater lands on the board and continues rolling in the same direction without falling over. Believe me, it's almost impossible to pull off, which is why it's called the ollie impossible.
Most skaters -- the ones that are annoying to watch -- are trying to reach the skill level where they may be able to pull off the ollie impossible with perhaps a 5 percent success rate. And the fact that most skaters are boring to watch indicates that they are still in the learning process and may never get there.
But there are the few, vaunted pros who can land the ollie impossible with something approximating 100 percent consistency. And they can do other things with their boards that make the jaws of bad skaters hit the floor with envy. The pros are not dull to watch, because their boards almost always stay on their feet right side up. On demand they can do a tricks like slide along the edge of a curb only on their front axle for about 10m and then do some sickening twist of the board and body before landing back on the street and rolling away. To watch skaters of this caliber is an awesome lesson in the bending of the laws of physics, geometry and gravity. That's why every skater in Taipei will turn out tomorrow to see three of the world's best skaters at a demonstration organized by Globe Shoes, Taiwan.
Coming to town will be Chet Thomas, Chad Fernandez and Jayme Fortune, who are all sponsored by Globe and have been stars in the rather insular world of skateboarding for the better part of a decade. To put it in perspective, their demo in Taipei will be as significant for skaters as, say, a soccer match between Brazil and Italy. In other words, it's a chance to see the best and it should be something that even non-skaters should check out, if only to observe finally what good skating is supposed to look like.
All three specialize in street skating, which uses obstacles in the urban environment around which to perform tricks. But because Taipei's busted sidewalks and congested streets are not skater-friendly territory, the demonstration will take place in the marble-smooth square in front the Hsinyi Mitsukoshi (
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