Maybe it has something to do with our ancestry as hunter-gatherers, when the men stepped out and killed things and the women were back in the village doing whatever it is they did, but there is something primal and viscerally satisfying about dodging death as an afternoon activity.
It is the thrill of throwing caution to the wind and putting oneself in situations where one in all likelihood will experience searing pain. On top of this, the brave few who take part and survive can swap bond-strengthening accounts of boundless courage over the fire afterward.
Few activities indulge this base urge for alpha bravado more fully than paintball and Taipei County has two spots to truly unleash your warrior soul.
Extreme sports, like big-wave surfing, freestyle rock climbing and downhill ski racing provide a guaranteed lethal conclusion if one makes a mistake, but the psychology of paintball is far more complex, which makes it somehow more gratifying. Besides, no one really wants to die during an afternoon of what should be fun.
Most male members of society fondly recall playing with toy soldiers and acting out scenes from D-Day in the sandbox. This is how we were socialized -- surely some girls enjoyed these games too, but probably not many -- so paintball strikes a chord that resonates to the farthest reaches of men's childhood memories.
Being handed a gun that propels marble-size balls of paint at speeds up to 300kph is a boy's most extravagant Christmas fantasy come true. We are going to be allowed, indeed encouraged, to shoot these guns at our friends for the next several hours and they will be doing the same. And this time, unlike the snowball fights and sock fights of childhood, the stakes are raised considerably by the fact that paint balls sting like a scorpion bite.
Compounding the whole evocation of unfulfilled childhood wishes to be a warrior hero is the mildly fetishistic aspect of the full battle fatigues players are required to wear. The elaborate gear, in particular the many-pocketed vest and the storm trooper protective masks, makes the game ritualistic in the extreme. It's clear that the camouflage is primarily to enhance the illusion of being in battle. But we're thankful for the organizers' thoughtfulness because it just wouldn't be the same in a beat-up old sweat suit.
And then there is the sheer thrill of the game.
At both paintball sites in Taipei County -- one, named T Base Paintball, is in Chungho and the other is at Eight Immortals Theme Park in Pali -- two teams can face off at either ends of an obstacle course about 50m in length which is dotted with 55-gallon drums and plywood walls. A referee watching from the sidelines blows a whistle and everyone dives for cover to avoid the opening hail of random paintball fire. Assuming that you survive the opening blast the rest of the round hinges on aim, strategy and patience, all of which novices tend to have in short supply.
In the obstacle course, most players know where the opposing team members are hidden, so the losers are usually the ones who change locations or at the wrong moment stick their heads out from behind the barrels and into the crosshairs of someone's gun.
For a more genuine battlefield experience, both sites also have large overgrown areas that teams crawl through using the foliage and trees as cover. This is perhaps even more harrowing than the obstacle course because the hiding spots of the enemy are generally unknown until opposing players stumble upon each other or someone walks into an ambush.
What gets hearts racing and increases the fear of getting hit is the alarmingly loud ping sound that the paint balls make when they hit the barrels and the whizzing sound of one passing perilously close to your head. Then there's the dread of stepping into the sights of someone nestled in a bush and waiting for someone unsuspecting like yourself to creep cluelessly by.
Inevitably, at some point during the game a paint ball connects and the pain is sharp, immediate and strong enough to make you really, really want to survive the next round.
But the pain is not enough to make anyone limp away crying and that is where paintball is supremely gratifying -- it allows you to play like a hardened soldier and take risks that would seem monumentally brave if you were facing down real bullets. You can even enjoy the foolhardy thrill of leading a suicidal charge with gun blazing.
There are undeniable risks involved in playing paintball, but they are almost all avoidable if everyone follows the rules, which are to shoot only in the designated courses, to put the gun's safety on when not in the courses and to wear the protective mask at all times when playing. This advice sounds obvious, but the owners of the Chungho site said they are facing two seven-digit lawsuits by idiotic parents who took toddlers maskless into the course with predictable results -- kids got shot in the eyes.
When played according to the rules, however, the worst harm paintball can inflict is stinging welts that linger for a few weeks. Mostly it's players' pride that gets hurt when they repeatedly get outfoxed by someone who recently completed their military service.
The game is also instructive. If paint balls can trigger a nervous sweat, one can only imagine how horribly terrifying real war must be. Paintball, at least, is a lot of fun, and while it massages those childhood fantasies it also dispels any illusions of real war being cool.
T Base Paintball (戰略工場) is set in the mountains above Chungho and offers all the necessary equipment, three paintball fields and a pleasant terrace for an afternoon barbecue which is included in the price. There are three playing options that include full equipment, differing amounts of paint balls and differing choices of barbecue foods for NT$990, NT$1,350 and NT$1,650.
A day of paintball starts at 9am and ends at 4:30pm, though players can join at any time throughout the day at deducted prices. For reservations, contact Lin Hui-jing (林卉蓁) at (02) 2657-0290. T Base Paintball is located at 67-1, Ln. 399, Hsingnan Rd., Sec. 2, Chungho, Taipei County (中和市興南路2段399巷67之1號).
Eight Immortals Theme Park (八仙樂園) also offers all the necessary equipment and three paintball fields. Prices are slightly lower than at T Base Paintball, but the playing fields are less elaborate and there is no option for a barbecue. Full equipment costs NT$700 including 100 paint balls. Additional paint balls cost NT$3 a piece.
The paint ball office at Eight Immortals Theme Park is located at 2Fl., 1-6, Hsia Ku Tzi, Pali, Taipei County (八里鄉下罟子1號之6-2F.). Reservations can be made by calling (02) 2619-5176.
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