Inexplicably, he was also sporting a T-shirt of Jesus Christ on the cross. He was on a tear.
“We came all the way from Taichung!” he was shouting, while pointing to his massive Teddy Bear head. “Why can’t we stay here?”
He kept on in this way, taking a loud, outraged tone with an embarrassed teddy bear show worker who was trying to reason with him in a soft, “let’s all stay reasonable” voice.
The situation became clearer as we approached. Crucifix Teddy bear-head and his lackey (who sported a chintzy nametag labeled zhushou “assistant”) had crashed the teddy bear party and rapidly set up a table next to the entrance. Now, they were attempting to hawk their pitiful wares — fluffy knicknacks, pens and the like with no discernible connection to teddy bears — to turn a quick NT dollar.
They were going rogue at the teddy bear show.
It was a remarkable display of the Taiwanese entrepreneurial spirit. I mean, wheeling in a sausage stand would have been logistically problematic. And actually making a teddy bear requires too much overhead.
But knicknacks? Easy. And who could turn away a vendor who’d gone so far as to make himself ridiculous with a towering Teddy Bear head wrapped around his own?
The mortified show worker slunk away, handing the Taichung show-crashers a victory.
“Now let that be a lesson to you,” I intoned to Julie as we made our way out. “Don’t ever take ‘no’ for an answer. When cornered, make a scene. And never underestimate the persuasive power of a large teddy-bear hat.”
Julie was too busy eyeing a budaixi (布袋戲) glove puppet teddy bear to pay me any mind. And now, I thought to myself, it’s time for those drinks.
But there’s no wonder Taiwan’s youth are turning to teddy bears — 60 percent of them have mulled suicide, if a recent CommonWealth magazine report, via Reuters, is any guide.
Depressing tidbit, that. Asked why there was such a high rate, survey director Huang Ching-hsuan offered the following, according to Reuters:
“‘Over the past five years teens in 23 million-population Taiwan have lost public role models since the 2008 death of Taiwan super-tycoon Wang Yung-ching (王永慶) and the conviction of ex-president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) for graft this year,’ Huang said.
“‘This is an age of no role models,’ she said. ‘Teens today just know to test into good universities, but then what?’”
Huang might be on to something with this role models thing — but Wang Yung-ching? I don’t think many Taiwanese teens are plastering their bedroom walls with posters of this wrinkly old “God of Business,” Matsu rest his soul.
No, today’s Taiwanese teens are more likely to look up to hip-hop diva Beyonce or US basketball star Kobe Bryant.
No wonder they’re depressed. I mean, how many Taiwanese kids have a realistic shot at the NBA?
It makes me glum just thinking about it. Now where’s my taike teddy bear?
Got something to tell Johnny? Get it off your chest: Write to dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com, but put “Dear Johnny” in the subject line or he’ll mark your bouquets and brickbats as spam.
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