I don’t know what they’re putting in the coffee at the China Post, but things are getting out of hand.
I know, I know — as the ideological arch-rival of this little rag, the Post is way too obvious a target.
But I’m not talking ideology here. Seriously, what the hell is going on over there?
I mean, first it was the move to 500-point all-capital-letter headlines on the front page every day. I suppose they’re trying to imitate the Apple Daily and its outsized Chinese script.
But for a while there, every time I went by my local newsstand I thought World War III had broken out — only to find on closer inspection that there had been another black-faced spoonbill sighting or that spring onion prices were down.
And my favorite headline to date?
“HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.”
Back when I learned journalism (sometime last century), we were taught that you only use the largest-type headlines when war is declared or for an event of equivalent import — a massive meteor strikes Earth, Taichung blows up, Yao-yao appears in a new bouncing-exercise-ball TV ad … that kind of thing.
Maybe it’s part of the China-friendly rag’s pro-unification psychological warfare. Now, when the Chicoms launch their invasion of Taiwan, no one will pay much attention — it will just be one more shrieking headline.
But wait — there’s more.
The China Post outdid itself with an editorial on Monday implying that if former president Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) had any balls, he would kill himself — just as former South Korean president Roh Moo-hyun did last weekend.
About Roh, who was being probed for corruption (his wife had already been indicted), the Post said:
“That’s atonement the Korean way. Roh hadn’t been indicted yet. Even if he had been put on trial, he still would have had the chance of proving his innocence. But he chose suicide to avoid being shamed in public. One may prove he was corrupt. He might be called a bad president. He might even be condemned as a hypocrite reformist. But no one can deny he was a brave man who knew shame is worse than death.
“The tragic death of the former Korean president stands in startling contrast with Chen Shui-bian now on trial for forgery, corruption, graft and money laundering. ...
“For whatever he might be, Chen isn’t a brave man. The brave know what shame is. He doesn’t. In this sense, he is very un-Chinese.”
Yeah, what’s wrong with you, A-bian? Why not let us hound you to an early grave, like any self-respecting Child of the Dragon would?
In the China Post’s kooky worldview, “Chinese = kills self when the chips are down,” while “Chen = un-Chinese pantywaister.”
The next day, the Post ran a more sober (by its standards) editorial that seemed to be atoning for the bilious words quoted above and for calling Chen corrupt even as his trial proceeds. But why were these guys so excitable in the first place?
Perhaps the Post’s editorial writers got excited by the recent story of the passerby who gave a suicidal man a helpful shove off a bridge in Guangzhou (the man survived, by the way).
Reported the China Daily: “The 66-year-old person who pushed him, Lai Jiansheng, had broken through a police cordon and climbed up to where Chen sat.
“He greeted him with a handshake before pushing him off the bridge.
“Chen damaged his spine and elbow in the fall.”
Said Lai, according to media reports: “I pushed him because jumpers like Chen are very selfish.”
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