It strikes me that Hsing Yun and his unificationist cronies would be ideally cast in a sequel to that immensely entertaining classic of Chinese literature, Journey to the West.
Picture Tripitaka (played by Hsing Yun) leading the irrepressible Sun Wu-kung (a deluded everyman ape with a fondness for brawling and Taiwanese identity), Pigsy (the DPP caucus) and Sandy (ineffectual pro-democracy intellectuals) across the Strait to gather secular scriptures on Chinese racial supremacy from Zhongnanhai, courtesy of a World Buddhist Congress junket.
On the way there are trials and tribulations to be overcome, of course, such as fearful encounters with the Yak Demon King (the Dalai Lama, with horns) and his wife, the Iron Fan Princess (Annette Lu, 呂秀蓮, who wears her own clothes).
Incidentally, the author of Journey to the West, Wu Cheng’en (吳承恩), produced his landmark without using his real name.
So, in the meantime, I can say to Kuo Kuan-ying: Be reassured, for though you may not quite qualify for the monastery, you still have a career as a writer ahead of you. You are the latest in a long line of Chinese scribes with a vision, anonymity and the commoner’s turn of phrase.
But take it from a master of another kind. Johnny suggests you do something about your weakness for scatology if you want The Collected Works of Fan Lan-chin to become a modern classic of Chinese literature. Kids might read this stuff.
Got something to tell Johnny? Go on, get it off your chest. Write to johnnyneihu@gmail.com, but be sure to put “Dear Johnny” in the subject line or he’ll mark your bouquets and brickbats as spam.
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