Print

Mail

wiki links

Johnny Neihu's Mailbag

Saturday, Jun 23, 2007, Page 8

Words That Fluster?

Dear Johnny,

After reading all the various articles on the latest World Health Organization fiasco, including your own column ("No more trunk calls to the WHO," May 19, page 8), now may be the time for some summer fun.

How about a reader challenge? Let's take abbreviations and rewrite them using the initials to reflect the true nature of these organizations -- after firstly adding your own acerbic titles.

More power to your elbow, Sir.

Michael Wise

Tamsui

Johnny replies: You're asking for it, Michael. Alright ... see what you think of these:

World Health Organization: What Hubris ... Ouch!

World Organization for Animal Health (Office International des Epizooties): Oaaggh, In English!

Ministry of Foreign Affairs: Missed Opportunities, Failed Ambassadors

Overseas Compatriots Affairs Commission: Once Chinese, Always Chinese

Department of Health: Delirious Over H5N1

Republic of China: Running On Chips

People's Republic of China: Proletarian Revolution's Collapse

Chinese Communist Party: Comrades of Capitalist Persuasion

Democratic Progressive Party: Disingenuous, Platitudinous Patriotism

Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT): Kissed Mao's Tush

Separate Customs Territory of Taiwan, Penghu, Kinmen and Matsu: Shit, Could This Title Placate Knobhead Marxists?

Now I don't like to distract my readers from the main message by turning to crass marketing and personal appearances. But hey, I'll try anything demeaning once if there's a buck in it. So here's the offer, dear reader: Send in your best abbreviations. Best entries will be published and the authors will receive an autographed photo of me and my gal Cathy Pacific in a pose you won't soon forget.

Openness? That's radical

Dear Johnny,

I am writing to thank you for providing a few moments of entertaining reading as my thoughts turn to Taiwan.

If you are an expat, as your critics suggest, your participation in Taiwan's public (and especially political) discourse is bold, along with your penchant for airing opinions of foreigners.

I was advised during my 1993-to-1995 stay that foreigners (and particularly Americans) were expected to keep their political opinions private and never attend political rallies.

It seems the climate has changed radically since then (though my current president perhaps demonstrates the value of American silence now more than ever).

Has this openness contributed positively to Taiwan? I'd be interested to hear your views on how.

Gilbert Saldivar

Houston, Texas

Johnny replies: Interesting question. I think the answer is yes, though I feel that this openness is not so much an ideological phenomenon as a sociological one. There are very few Taiwanese who would get jumpy if a foreigner got deported for getting on stage during a rally (a visa violation), because Taiwanese are of a mind that if you do something illegal that is incredibly conspicuous then you are stupid and deserve little sympathy, regardless of the human rights involved.

Paradoxically, when foreigners get up on stage during a political rally and have their say, few Taiwanese feel affronted. Curiosity, even pride, are more common reactions -- as long as the oaf with the microphone doesn't say something inordinately stupid or inflammatory.

So, as long as you aren't into agit prop, the police would rather leave you alone. And foreign political scientists, for example, are no longer the hot ticket for up-and-coming spooks. Except on the east coast -- but that's another story.

So next time you come, you will find that you can express any opinion you like.

And simply being here is the best way of understanding how openness has helped this country.

Just be tactful if you insist on talking politics. If you're among Taiwanese, they'll have heard it all before. And if you're among foreigners, they'll probably tell you to change subjects or get the hell out of the bar.
This story has been viewed 2040 times.