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Alcoholism a `disease of the soul'

Saviley Vlasov, 35, was a heavy drinker after leaving the army in his mid-20s. Now recovering, he works as a courier in Moscow.

"I started drinking when I was 14. I was a shy teenager, but after a night of drinking I became sociable. I got a new nickname, new friends and even a girlfriend. I started drinking heavily when I left the Russian army at the age of 25. It was 1992," Vlasov said.

"Every time I touched a drop of alcohol I couldn't stop drinking. I was helpless. I had just one purpose: to find alcohol. It was my only goal."

"I would drink until I could no longer stand up. My relatives gave me money. I would normally drink for two or three days continuously. After that I'd collapse. Then I'd lie down for a week. Then I'd start drinking again."

"This went on for several years. I'd look for money, steal it, borrow it or get it from other drinkers. I mostly drank very cheap vodka. It's easily available in Russia, it tastes like industrial spirit."

"On one occasion I set myself alight. I almost died. I woke up, and I didn't know where I was or how I got there. On another occasion I nearly fell out of the window of my Moscow flat. I didn't have a girlfriend. I just drank alone at home and watched TV. My relatives thought I was a madman. They were waiting for me to go mad and put me in a hospital."

"My entire universe became distorted. I started to measure someone only by alcohol -- whether they were someone I could share 50g of vodka with. At my father's suggestion I went to Alcoholics Anonymous. But only once. Afterwards I carried on drinking for two years."

"Eventually I ran out of drinking companions and stopped. I've now been dry for eight years."

"I'm not sure why alcoholism is such a big problem here in Russia. It happens elsewhere too. But ultimately it's a disease of the soul. Men and women drink in Russia because they don't have any spiritual goals. They have nothing to live for."

"During my darkest moments, the whole meaning of my existence was to get alcohol. That was it. It was an unending struggle. Those years are still a blur to me."
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