As if there were anything else to talk about this week. Yes, evidence has begun to mount that the "son of Taiwan" has stolen the keys to dad's car and taken his friends on a joyride after all.
Nobody's been convicted, but prosecutors said last week that they were bringing indictments against first lady Wu Shu-jen (
But Chen isn't going without a fight. Speculation that he would step down voluntarily was ended on Sunday with another hour-plus televised speech/linguistic extravaganza. Chen once again defied his monolingual critics by feeling no compulsion to finish his sentences in the same language.
Chen drew on his legal training to present a defense that no doubt sent the prosecutor scrambling to draw up a new strategy for the trial. A-bian countered with lines like "Why on earth would I ever want money?"; "I can't tell you where the money went because it's a secret" and "Sometimes it's alright for the president to lie." Well, I'm sold.
To legal novices it sounded like another rambling diatribe that didn't address the issue. But in fact, Chen was defending the right to commit perjury. The China Post reported last Saturday that prosecutors charged former Presidential Office deputy secretary-general Ma Yung-cheng (
Let's all take a moment to go back and read that sentence again.
But don't worry if you're feeling confused by these legal ins and outs. Apparently the nation's leaders don't have any idea what's going on, either. Vice President Annette Lu (呂秀蓮) said on Tuesday that only Chen and former president Lee Teng-hui (李登輝) have any idea how the fund works and that she "never used state affairs funds, nor do I even understand what they are used for or how they're used."
Well, that's comforting. So there's at least one good reason not to recall Chen: If he steps down, who will explain to the vice president how the government works?
I can only imagine what the scene would be on Lu's first day in office:
Lu: I need you to send this fax to the premier.
Secretary: That's impossible.
Lu: Why?
Secretary: Only Lee and Chen understand the murky operations of the fax machine.
Let's recap what we know about the "state affairs fund." It seems to have been designed to be so secret and shady that only those at the very top have any idea how it works. There is no oversight mechanism to check the president's use of the fund. If investigators question you about it, it's OK to lie to them.
You know, call me crazy, but it's almost as if the system were designed by some corrupt political regime prior to the Chen administration to make it easier for leaders to steal national funds.
On Tuesday, Chen seemed to back this up: "Before I took over the presidency, many of the president's secret funds did not conform to accounting and auditing regulations, but I never questioned them as being irregular or corrupt."
Chen's biggest mistake appears to have been being naive enough to think he would get away with the same perks that the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) had. Either that or he is the most incompetent embezzler in the history of politics.
But the alleged instances of graft are so poorly conceived that they could only be committed by someone who thought he didn't need to cover his tracks. Here is my favorite: Chen says he had to borrow money from one of his friends for an important diplomatic initiative and paid him back out of the fund later. Yes, that's right, the president was running short on cash and needed his buddy to spot him a couple of bucks to conduct affairs of state. Just amazing.
All that said, let's not jump to conclusions. We should remember that the public is getting tired of those pesky obstructions to good old mob justice -- the Constitution and due process. Still, Chen is so certain of his wife's innocence that he has pledged to step down if Wu is found guilty -- guilty of corruption and forgery, that is (define the word "is," eh, A-bian?). And we all know about promises to step down: Just ask Premier Su Tseng-chang (
Inspired by Chen's steadfastness, the pan-green parties took firm stands of their own. The Taiwan Solidarity Union (TSU) boldly announced its "We're supporting the third recall motion ... actually we changed our minds ... wait a minute, let's just do nothing and see what happens" policy.
Some Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) lawmakers responded to Chairman Yu Shyi-kun's call for party unity with their "Maybe Chen should step down ... but only kind of ... just for a little while ... like a vacation ... oh hell, everybody just do whatever you want" proposal. However, this audacious example of independent thinking was quashed at a meeting of top DPP brass on Wednesday with an ultimatum to back Chen or join TSU evictee Clara Chou (
At least the pan-blues graciously offered to give the DPP 48 hours to reflect on what to do before they launched their "third time's the charm" recall motion.
As for Chen, he has said that he is reflecting on matters three times a day. I kid you not, he really did.
But it hasn't been all bad news this week. The "son of Taiwan" may be feeling the heat, but the "Light of Taiwan," baseball star Wang Chien-ming (
With the Million Voices Against Corruption campaign fizzling into nothing, it's no wonder that Shih has been looking for other work. Taipei Mayor Ma Ying-jeou (
The break-up of this odd couple continues to be messy. Sources say campaign organizers are searching for a suitable bus stop or toll booth to relocate to should Ma remove them from Taipei Main Station as well.
Shih also had harsh words for Ma last Saturday, saying that by stopping the Ketagalan protest, he had turned his back on the law and his former friends just to get political attention. A sense of irony has never been Shih's strong suit.
Heard or read something particularly objectionable about Taiwan? Johnny wants to know: dearjohnny@taipeitimes.com is the place to reach me, with "Dear Johnny" in the subject line.
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