Sat, Aug 26, 2006 - Page 8 News List

Johnny Neihu' s Mailbag

An innocent query on Chinese membership in the UN ends in the toilet cubicle, and Chiu Yi gets a blast for being, well, Chiu Yi.

The UN: Who gives a damn?

Dear Johnny,

The UN members, from what I understand, have to be voted in as member states, but I can't find the voting results for the People's Republic of China (PRC).

Is it possible the PRC was never voted in as a member state, or was it just a replacement for the Republic of China (ROC)? If the first assessment is true, then the PRC is in the UN illegally by the rules of the UN. Your opinion, please.

Marvin Bolton

Los Angeles

Johnny replies: How better to answer this question than to refer to the UN Web site? Oh, hang on, I just have -- and I can't find a damn thing, other than the fact that (the Republic of) China is referred to as a founding member of the UN on Oct. 24, 1945. There are no annotations on the change in membership because technically there was no change in China's membership, just a change in its representatives from aging tyrants to aging dictators of the proletariat on Oct. 25, 1971, courtesy of the infamous General Assembly Resolution 2758 (the legality of which is another story).

The fate of the Chiang mob was irrelevant; what angers me now is how pro-China members of the UN turned millions of innocent Taiwanese pawns into stateless people in most international contexts in the longer term.

But I say: To hell with the history, the technical arguments and the academic treatises. Let's go back to first principles, shall we? At the top of the "Member States" page the UN Charter is quoted thus:

"Membership in the United Nations is open to all peace-loving states which accept the obligations of the Charter and, in the judgement of the Organization, are willing and able to carry out these obligations."

On the Security Council page, we are also informed that: "A Member State which has persistently violated the principles of the Charter may be expelled from the United Nations by the Assembly on the Council's recommendation."

China has a superlative death toll from self-inflicted stupidity and oppression and more border wars than I've had cups of warm doujiang. Beijing vetoes, or threatens to veto, the dispatch of crucial peacekeepers to places in agony around the world simply because the countries in question recognize Taipei. It wants to invade a democratic state because otherwise it'll feel inadequate as the new kid on the superpower bloc. Conclusion? The UN Charter manifestly requires that China be expelled from the UN.

Oh, that's right, China can veto any vote expelling it -- unless Taiwan pulls off its own Resolution 2758 on the floor of the General Assembly. But, hey, we're not China anymore. There goes that brilliant idea.

What the hell is such an organization's treaty good for in terms of Taiwanese security and self-respect? I'll tell you what: Wiping my butt after a long night of drinking and bad Sichuanese cuisine -- though I prefer to leave my squat toilet cubicle without crayon smeared across my posterior.

Let me finish by quoting the Web site's FAQ page:

Q: How many countries are there in the world?

A: We are not an authority on this topic.

They got that right.

People, wake the #@!* up

Dear Johnny,

Two questions. First: Why hasn't the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) launched a "fact versus biased speculation" advertising campaign showing Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) Legislator Chiu Yi (邱毅) on top of that truck (with focused camera angle, which all Taiwanese media love to employ -- red circle included) ramming the gates of that Kaohsiung court house, then saying later in one of his first statements that he was trying to stop and control the crowd?

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