Print

Mail

wiki links

Merger plan promises a wedding soap opera

`To get amusement out of the political arena is like squeezing a flattened tube of toothpaste: you can rarely get anything out.'

At last, our politicians are going to give us a more entertaining show. Many political observers are treating the merger between the Chinese Nationalist Party (KMT) and the People First Party (PFP) as though it were a jubilant wedding.

People can cast aside their fear of a contagious "political depression" for a while and have a spree at the wedding party. They can pop in to the KMT's and PFP's houses and see how the bride and groom get through the wedding. It's a chance to have some fun! The entertainment value is high and chances like this are rare. To get amusement out of the political arena is like squeezing a flattened tube of toothpaste: you can rarely get anything out.

High-ranking officials in the KMT and PFP want to merge the parties, but grumbling sounds can be heard from the rank and file. Some PFP members have described the KMT as an ailing groom who wants a festive wedding to wash away bad luck. The KMT has retorted that the PFP has shown itself prone to extramarital affairs. In response, the PFP has taken exception to the KMT's party-assets scandals that a merger would embroil them in, leading the KMT to snipe back that the PFP behaves like a petty gossip complaining about the future brothers-in-law before marrying into a big family.

Even though they have nothing but contempt for each other, they still spruce themselves up to be married. A farce is about the begin as they set out upon the red carpet. The farce will make the audience burst into laughter and tears because of its absurdity.

Viewing this farce in a sensible light, we know an incompatible couple will make for a painful marriage. A Taiwanese slang phrase is "pissing on sand, you only pile up the stench." It might not be very refined, but it vividly portrays the two parties' current situation. How can urinating on a heap of sand help consolidate it? When the KMT and the PFP together spread speculations about vote-rigging and a "faked" shooting, their relationship presented a smooth surface.

Yet, after sand is mixed with reeking urine, not only does it not consolidate into a firm heap, but it also becomes scarred and pock-marked, and has a lot of little lumps. In the argument over the merger bill, a KMT internal force led by Taipei Mayor Ma Ying-jeou (馬英九) can no longer provide gracious support for KMT Chairman Lien Chan (連戰) to lean on.

Other splinter groups in the KMT's localization faction have disliked the PFP from the start. Now the conflicts are out in the open. Even PFP Vice Chairman Chang Chao-hsiung (張昭雄) swore never to convert to the KMT. So far, the greater the effort put into merging the parties, the further apart they seem to become.

If the KMT and the PFP fail to find a reliable cement to fortify their sand castle, they will repeat the folly of Japan's Liberal Democratic Party: a string of divorces and remarriages. Unlike Japan's LDP, the KMT and the PFP are facing a rapidly growing party that holds power. Perhaps, as a PFP legislator who wore sunglasses on the day of the merger announcement said, "it's getting dark."

Chen Ro-jinn is a freelance writer.

TRANSLATED BY WANG HSIAO-WEN
This story has been viewed 2372 times.