This non-stop pampering is aggravated by female domestic servants, ranging from the high society governess to the part-time maid of a middle-class family. Servants, indeed, are a bulwark of Mexican machismo. Though they allow women to go out and work, they ensure that men continue to be pampered like oriental potentates, never lifting a finger in the home. Where wives and daughters now refuse to drop everything to prepare lunch for the man of the house, the maid takes up the slack.
The implications of these attitudes and behaviors go beyond the domestic sphere. Pampered Mexican boys grow into men accustomed to being obeyed instantly, who feel entitled to special attention, refuse to negotiate with those whom they consider inferior and reject any form of criticism. The men who dominate public life often fit this mold: they are demanding, impatient, intolerant and self-centered.
There is an inescapable contradiction between machismo and our supposed transition to democracy. As Monica sums it up with mock exasperation after our lunch, twice interrupted by her husband, "This machismo business doesn't make sense any more. How can we continue to be governed by men who have never set foot in a supermarket?"
Marina Castaneda is a psycho-therapist in Mexico City and author of the recent bestseller El machismo invisible.
Copyright: Project Syndicate
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