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Editorial: Elmer Feng meets Elvis Presley

Between allegations that President Chen Shui-bian (陳水扁) appointed New Party lawmaker Elmer Feng (馮滬祥) as his secret envoy to China and that Elvis Presley is alive and playing guitar in a Tijuana mariachi ensemble, which is less likely? Of course it's really no contest. Feng and Chen's portraits have mentally graced each other's dartboards for nearly two decades. Chen would as soon give a job of importance to Feng as kiss a rattlesnake.

During his first term as a Taipei City Councilor, Chen actually served jail time after Feng sued him for publishing a magazine article accusing Feng -- with justification -- of plagiarism. And how can anyone forget how relentless Feng was toward Chen during the height of the "boy scout" controversy. Feng mercilessly grilled presidential secretary Ma Yong-cheng (馬永成) with questions concerning the president's "undergarment," and demanded Hsiao Bi-khim (蕭美琴) be subjected to the same.

For once, DPP secretary-general Wu Nai-jen (吳乃仁) was right when he said anyone "thinking with his knee" knows that Feng is just fantasizing in his talk about being Chen's secret envoy. Common sense dictates that such envoys must be very well informed, deeply trusted, close companions of the one who sent them. Former president Lee Teng-hui's (李登輝) secret envoy was Su Chih-cheng (蘇志誠). Su is not only Lee's long-time confidant but also has a virtual father-son relationship with Lee.

The gullible, such as the 40,000 voters who elected Feng in 1998, might think it not entirely impossible that Chen asked Feng to be his envoy, since Feng is on good terms with Beijing. But let's face it, so many politicians and lawmakers are going on junkets across the Taiwan Strait to smooch the buttocks of Beijing's leaders these days that if Chen really sought a well-connected messenger he would be spoilt for choice.

One thing is for sure. Feng would probably kill for the chance to act as an envoy. It is simply hard for many to resist the power and prestige, not to mention the potential for lucrative under-the-table dealings, that may come with the appointment, especially should "unification" eventually be accomplished through one's hard work in this regard. This is, of course, why "Chinese KMT" and New Party members are so keen to sell out Taiwan, in the hope that largess will be heaped on them for doing so.

The irony is that Feng is far more suited to his present role, acting as China's chief apologist and general troublemaker in Taiwan than representing Taiwan in China. His cringing pro-China position and mindless repetition of his Beijing masters' unificationist rhetoric are antithetical to the stance and the interests of the vast majority of the people of this nation.

Feng's current mission in Taiwan is to put blame for deteriorating cross-strait relations on Chen at a time when China has refused to re-open cross-strait negotiations despite Chen's repeated goodwill gestures. Feng, a known liar of traitorous intent, claims that Chen has reneged on "promises" to accept the "one China" principle and reconvene the National Unification Council and that this has provoked China. Frankly, it annoys us even to mention such stupid claims, but it helps get the measure of this poltroon.

Even if Feng lives up to his promise and produces a tape-recording of his conversation with Chen Che-nan (陳哲男), deputy secretary-general in the presidential office, on cross-strait relations, it proves nothing about his "envoy" claim. It may simply be fragments of conversations that took place between the two as Feng approached Chen Che-nan for one of the following two reasons -- seeking an appointment from Chen as an envoy or delivering a message from his masters in Beijing. As for Feng as a Taiwan envoy, we first await Elvis' next recording.
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