As a sponsor for a series of events entitled "Looking for Learning Mothers in the 21st Century," the Taipei Association for The Promotion of Women's Rights (
The "Learning Mothers" events are not intended to increase the pressure on mothers. Nor do we intend to reinforce stereotypical images and demands based on a male-centered thinking. Rather, we wish to straighten the intricate web between motherhood and the contemporary role of women. We want to emphasize that family life is not the only arena for mothers.
Mothers have the right to have their own identity. Their identity, autonomy and beliefs should be recognized by society. There should be programs and seminars that seek to engage both men and women in in-depth learning and relationships instead of focusing on the stereotypical image of "model mothers" (one of self-sacrifice and selflessness).
The aim in promoting the image of "learning mothers" is to show the lives of contemporary mothers in a realistic way. The education level and financial independence of women have improved significantly, and married women and mothers no longer fit the image portrayed in primary school textbooks as cleaning the house while the father reads the newspaper.
Thanks to the advocacy of women's groups in recent years, the Ministry of Education finally changed the primary textbooks so that mother does her morning exercises while father is reading the paper. Just getting those few words changed wasn't an easy task but this example shows the tremendous challenge involved in trying to change traditional social values.
However, the debate over the image of "learning mothers" has led to an important question -- ?why aren't fathers learning as well? Many women have indicated that they hope their husbands would learn to grow, to share the happiness and sadness in their wives' hearts, as well as sharing responsibility for child-rearing and the household. But the center for most Taiwanese men's life remains their work. Even if they enroll in continuing-education programs, the courses they take are primarily aimed at helping them get promotions or increase their income.
Only a very small minority of men are willing to take part in their family's development. We see a great deal of difference between men and women in what they want to learn. This gap replicates the traditional stereotype that "a man takes care of the outside, while the woman takes care of home."
The setbacks we have encountered in the women's right movement often stem from men's determined hold on their traditionally dominant role and their reluctance to make changes. Often when a wife begins a process of self-awakening and growth, or asks for changes, her husband is often unwilling and unable to face the situation.
If "learning mothers" make us think about issues surrounding "learning fathers," now may be the chance for men to change their roles and experience growth. Not only do we want to restore a positive image of mothers, we would like to push men to grow. Let men be released from the confinement of traditional and dogmatic social system so that they can become the soulmates of women and share the sorrow and happiness of their children.
It may be too late for this year's Mother's Day. But, I believe that the best imaginable gift for many mothers may very well be a "father's life-long learning passport" from the father.
Hsu Chia-ching is a member of the Board of Director for the Taipei Association for The Promotion of Women's Rights.
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