Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday. Warm-up celebrations have recently been held, which give a perspective on society's image and expectations of today's mothers.
These celebrations and activities, which are said to promote the status of mothers and are aimed at improving their welfare, can be divided into two categories. One strengthens the stereotypical image of traditional mothers, such as the selection of the top 10 kind-hearted mothers. The other type looks as if the organizers have tried to present a progressive and diversified image of mothers, but in reality they are another form of male suppression. "Looking for Learning Mothers in the 21st Century," an event organized by the Humanistic Education Foundation (人本教育基金會) and co-sponsored by several local governments is a typical example.
The activity listed 10 "life indicators" for learning mothers: reading at least one newspaper a day, reading a book a week, attending at least one intellectual speech a month, remaining curious about life, taking the initiative to join educational seminars, exercising at least 30 minutes a day, joining at least one community activity, saying kind words to family members at least once a day, watching educational TV programs and learning how to use the Internet to obtain information. Mothers who can check off more than three items on the list will be ranked as "learning mothers."
These 10 indicators seem to imply that today's mothers do not read newspapers or books, lack curiosity about life or the will to learn, do not like exercising and do not care about their community. However, they apparently do nag their family, watch low-class soap operas and lag behind the times. That is why we need to search for learning mothers. We don't even ask for much, just that they do three out of all the items on the list.
Regardless of the male-centered values that the 10 indicators reveal -- a belief that after a woman gets married and has children she will not improve herself anymore -- is it true that all mothers are not willing to learn? If we used the same standards to evaluate fathers, how many would be qualified as "learning fathers?"
Let's look at who loves to learn and who needs to learn. About 70 percent of the students who enroll in community colleges around the country are female and many of them are mothers. Despite the pressures of work, housework and child care, these women still make an effort to go to night school just to get more learning opportunities. Most volunteers for social service organizations are women, which tells us that women are better than men in pursuing knowledge and in providing service to the community and society. The problem is not whether these mothers are willing to learn or not, but they face more obstacles than others in learning.
Many mothers are willing to learn. They would also like to be able to go online for information. The problem is they do not have time. After their tiring daytime jobs, mothers still have their family to take care of and lots of housework to do. When they lack the time to get enough sleep, how can we expect them to learn more? Learning takes time and energy. If we truly want our mothers to have an opportunity to learn, what we really need to promote is "learning fathers," not "learning mothers."
We can try to list "top 10 life indicators for learning fathers," such as helping children with their homework for at least 30 minutes a day, making at least one dinner for the family each week, learning to cook a new dish every month, doing some housework, talking to family members at least 10 minutes a day, handing over remote control to the TV instead of forcing other family members to watch political and sports news and so on. Again, we wouldn't ask for much, just a minimum of three items
Only when fathers are willing to share in caring for the family and with the housework will mothers no longer need to endure difficulties in learning.
The annual Mother's Day celebrations should promote loving mothers more. How can we be so officious as to remind them to be considerate and to try harder to fit the image of modern women. Aren't they considerate all their lives? Instead of asking mothers to say good words to their family members every day, why not remind mothers to say something nice to themselves at least once in a day.
Holin Lin is the associate professor at the Graduate Institute of Journalism of National Taiwan University.
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