Print

Mail

wiki links

Hummer H2 hits the road in America

A Humvee with the US Army's 3rd Battalion, 69th Regiment Armor Task Force rolls down a runway with a palace in the background at Saddam International Airport near Bagdad in Iraq on Friday. PHOTO: AP

Like an Art Deco skyscraper or a top 40 dance hit, a car is a time capsule for the age that produced it. Is there a better symbol of the naive optimism of the Eisenhower years than the 1959 Cadillac Eldorado, its exuberant, erotic tailfins puncturing the homogenity of the 1950s, pointing toward a new era of space exploration, sexual liberation and technological revolution?

When future generations look back, they may well see the Hummer H2 as the four-wheel icon of our time. With troops at war and gasoline prices gyrating, with civilians stockpiling gas masks and duct tape to ward off unseen perils, with capitalists and environmentalists squaring off over the attractions and evils of SUVs, these hulking quasi-military utility vehicles are hardly irrelevant to the national discourse.

For a world full of danger, the H2 girds you in armor -- in appearance, if not in fact -- for highways where road rage may get you if terrorists do not, where the gridlock of aggressive utility vehicles make it every woman (or man) for herself (or himself). Driving a Hummer makes a unilateral personal statement in sync with a unilateral foreign policy.

"Drive defensively" signs in some states say, but Hummers are proactive and pre-emptive. The H2 reminds me of a Barron's cartoon I keep on my desk: A genteel couple are checking out a towering SUV in a showroom. "Drive this baby," the salesman assures them, "and most of the rules of the road won't apply to you."

Unrated

Certainly, some rules do not apply, like fuel economy regulations. The Chevrolet Tahoe, with which the H2 shares many parts, must display its mileage rating, but the Hummer goes unrated because its loaded weight exceeds the 3,855kg threshold.

Hummers are so mighty that they scare away the tax man! One New Jersey dealership has been heavily promoting a first-year tax deduction of US$36,524 that small-business owners may claim if they buy an H2 or another equally heavy SUV.

For General Motors, which bought the rights to Hummer in late 1999 (though American General builds the vehicles in Mishawaka, Indiana), the H2 is a bright spot in a dim market. Hummer dealers say the war in Iraq has increased showroom traffic, lifting sales of both trucks and trinkets. It is no coincidence that Hummers were the sole exclusions to the lavish buyer incentives GM announced last week, including five years of interest-free financing.

"Nothing screams `American' like driving a Hummer," Tom Bowlin, product manager of a dealership in Cerritos, California, told Automotive News. In the Persian Gulf, it is the H2's stepbrother, the military Humvee, that screams American, in a war that has, at the least, a tangential connection to world oil supplies and American gasoline prices.

With more Hummers on the road, ample supplies will be needed. With mileage estimated at up to 20kpg on average -- though I barely exceeded 18kpg while driving two H2s a total of 3,200km -- Hummers are among the least fuel-efficient passenger vehicles sold in the US.

No one buys a Hummer for its mileage, of course, and to many of the new customers the vehicle's considerable off-road capabilities are incidental, too. Often, the H2's mission is to attract attention, an assignment it handles with ease.

I first drove an H2 last summer, when they were quite rare, then used one to make a New York-Detroit round trip in January in near-blizzard conditions. They received all the attention they deserved, including shouts of "Yo, Schwarzenegger" as I rolled through Harlem. (An understandable case of mistaken identity.)

What I hadn't expected was to find women, usually in their 30s with children in tow, admiring the Hummer nearly every time I parked it in upstate New York. Several times they stood waiting, questions ready, for the driver to appear.

Indeed, more than a quarter of H2 buyers are women, and many others play a role in the purchase decisions of men. This has not been lost on Hummer's marketing department, which introduced heavy artillery into the war of the sexes with an ad that suggested, "Threaten men in a whole new way."

Intimidation is part of the package, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. Manic cabbies don't mess with Hummers, which are also persuasive against left-lane road hogs on the interstate. Drivers who dawdle in the passing lane, refusing to move right no matter what, eventually take the hint when a taxi-yellow H2 fills their mirrors.

The H2 is plenty big, though it looks larger than it is -- partly because all the components were set on or above the frame, partly because the windows are shallow and the sides are vertical. The truck is actually shorter and not much taller than a Tahoe, and the lack of overhangs beyond the tires is a boon to off-roading; you can roll right up and over a 76cm wall. The H2 can ford 50cm of water and climb over 40cm rocks.

Uncommon

The H2 has little in common with the original Hummer, the H1, beyond their look. Both wear a seven-bar grille (one that DaimlerChrysler unsuccessfully tried to stop GM from using, asserting that it infringed on a Jeep trademark).

The H1, a somewhat civilized version of the military Humvee, costs more than US$100,000 and has a diesel engine with awesome pulling power; the US$50,000 H2 borrows its 6-liter gasoline V8 from various GM trucks.

The H2 also has a sophisticated electronic four-wheel-drive system that offers five driving modes, including a low gear range with a locking rear differential.

While H1 is cramped and noisy, H2 is comfortable and reasonably quiet. But first you must get in, and the first step up is a 63cm doozy. Unless you play professional basketball or don't mind ripping your inseams, the optional running boards are essential.

Once the driver has clambered onto the overstuffed captain's chair -- with individual armrest and multiple power adjustments -- he or she can practically look long-haul truckers in the eye. In keeping with the big-rig theme, the H2 has clearance lights around the roof.

Although spacious and plush, the cabin is no more subtle than the exterior. The focal points are huge round vents that protrude from the dashboard, including a pair in the middle reminiscent of the cone-shaped bras that Madonna used to wear.

The shift lever for the four-speed automatic, the only transmission offered, is a wide, thick bar of the sort that Buck Rogers might have used to engage warp drive.

The controls work well enough -- save for the antiquated multifunction turn-signal stalk that GM won't let go -- though there are lots of bits and pieces to the interior, in the company's usual fashion. And the quality of the dash materials, especially plastic panels with an unconvincing metallic look, are unlikely to age well.
This story has been viewed 2539 times.